Feelings, are so much more than just feelings contradictory to Morris Albert’s opinion. We have so many feelings every day. They are happening within us all the time. When we are young they seem to be much more intense and singular. As we get older they become muddled, we can be sad overall but still have little moments of joy or happiness, then maybe we remember we are sad and return to that state.
It is so hard to know what is happening within us and when we can choose to change it or when we have to just be in the state we find ourselves. Sometimes our feelings don’t matter at all. We just have to suck it up because we have responsibilities that need addressing. How we see these issues, or what we do in reaction to them, has to do with who we are and where we are in our development.
We have all met people that find it hard to do what we, as separate individuals, are naturally inclined to do. We can often find this in family members. That’s why holiday gatherings can so often get overwhelming for so many people. We do not choose our family... well maybe we did but that spirit entity that chose was definitely not the complex person living within space time. If we had chosen our families, and I do believe we did in some way, it would have been within the spiritual realm where we had instant access and wisdom to all that is. Our families, and the people we are connected to that challenge us, are the ones who have the most to teach us. Unfortunately we do not like to be challenged, as a general rule.
There are so many stages to our personal spiritual development that it is hard to know exactly where we are and how to move forward. Well, that may never be able to be known, but if we open ourselves up, and spend time with our thoughts, we can slowly grow and develop into who we are meant to be. It is important to see balance in all things and to understand that we will probably never be exactly what the universe wants us to be nor will the universe be everything we want it to be. Nevertheless every aspect of ourselves needs to grow. We may not even consider some part of our nature while developing until it is challenged. It is that challenge that wakes up that part of ourselves so that we can do the work needed to grow.
I have an issue where I get angry while driving and it is one specific thing that gets me every day, left lane drivers. I have the idea that the left lane is strictly a passing lane, but when I am passing in the left lane and I find myself having to pass on the right, I often get very angry. This is curious because I am a very calm person for the most part, especially when it comes to loose rules. I have to look at myself here, and I look to try and see where in my life I am acting like that person nonchalantly using the left lane. I do this because that is my focus, that is a specific story I am telling myself and it is garnering a reaction. It makes me angry, and anger, being a response to something I do not like. If it is tues that everything I see and experience is a reflection of myself this response needs to be noted. So although there is another person involved who I am seemingly angry with within spacetime, that other person is ultimately a part of me and I see this as a time where spiritually that part of me is looking to communicate something.
In this scenario the first thing that comes to mind is in my career, am I pretending to be in the proverbial left lane while calmly moving forward oblivious to my position? I look into myself and I see that I can do more for my work. I can spend more time being quiet and listening to my thoughts in order to use that left lane when I need to, but maybe I prefer to block others from moving to the front than taking that adventurous approach myself. Today although I may claim to be in the left lane, am I passing others?
I see the left lane as an ego boost. And I see myself needing that on occasion. I think that people in the left lane want to be someone going fast, or passing others. This is the story I repeat to myself about those that get me angry in the left lane. This is not the only time I have used a story that revolves around a person wanting to be seen one way but acts in a contrary way to that. This is line of thinking I start to follow and try to link back to myself. I have found that I want to be seen a certain way, and maybe there things within my actions that I want to adjust to accomplish those more fully. Or there are ideas that I am not in alignment with that will lead me to just change lanes, but changing lanes would see me have to retrain my ego when it comes to my career.
To be honest, what I really want is to “be,” and enjoy being, on my path. I see jealousy in my life the same way. I try to curtail jealous feelings but they exist because I internalize thoughts that I needn’t. Other people are in a place I am not, that doesn’t mean I want to be there exactly, but I internalize thoughts of success and failure all the time. I try to look at those thoughts and understand myself better. The messages unfortunately are not always so cut and dry as my driving example earlier. My feelings about everything relate back to me and my goal, however odd it sounds, to not have feelings. I expect that would sound odd because of course I want feelings, but I want to feel love not judgment. Indifference is not the same as embracing things as they are, although it is not always easy to see the difference.
When I love myself, and I have seen this unfold over years, I have less conflict with the world. To not have conflict with the world is not the same as condoning, or sitting idly by as abuses are rendered. Yes if these things happen and we have pain because of it, something needs addressing. That pain is a sign that change needs to happen within us. If that pain calls us to take action out in the world we need to listen to that and so we take action. It may happen that the pain makes us angry, in that case we need to be angry. We can use all that anger, to take action and to talk about what changes we think need to be made. The caveat to that is the fact that once again the imbalance is not in the world, it is within us.
Within us exists the entire universe and from there all healing can happen. It is important for us to understand that a balance needs to be struck between who we are, as we align with our best self, and how we see who we are expected to be. That balance is becoming increasingly difficult as fame and social media preach how important it is to be a certain way. I find it difficult to express my love for how things are especially to people that are living in pain. Many people feel they are right and that they need to fix things, to me nothing is broken, things are just growing.
Do I feel that women or racial minorities need to be given an equal voice in the world?
Yes of course!
Do I want conflicts, genocides or corruption to run the world?
Absolutely not!
That is why I look inward to heal the injustices I promote by living in contradiction to my beliefs. As we see year in and year out people who fight against something or another or have a message to spread to the world we often find that message to be marred by personal actions that are in direct conflict with their message.
As Hollywood people are being accused for abuses we can easily see that the rise to fame may not equal happiness. We can easily see that personal work is done within. It is also important to understand that the companies that are associated the likes of Weinstein, Spacey, Louis C.K. and the dozens of other people only now being accused were perfectly fine working with these people before the public knew. The idea that these companies are supporting the accusers over their meal ticket is very shortsighted. That sort of obvious transparency is exactly how most of us are, we show the world one part of ourselves, and then, when we feel we are in a private place we can be less than our best, but if we were to just heal ourselves the world would not be so dark. It would not need fixing. Of course there will be conflict in the world, but it all starts with us. The conflicts that exist within us are the conflict that we see and are attracted to in the world because those are the ones we need to heal.
The Tao says:
When a truly kind man does something, he leaves nothing undone.
When a just man does something, he leaves a great deal to be done.
When a disciplinarian does something and no one responds,
He rolls up his sleeves in an attempt to enforce order
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